>> EVERY EYE
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves. Many are the troubles of the just man, but out of them all the LORD delivers him." ~Psalm 34:18, 19
Last night, I entertained a novel thought. Novel, for me, that is. I would begin to speak to you -- pray to you -- via the written word. You have provided me with the perfect tool: a computer.
Today, I write this, my first letter to You. It is my intention to articulate my most treasured and tender sentiments for you with clarity. For me, spoken words are ephemeral; written words, comfortingly lasting.
Voicing my tenderness toward You is not always easy, and mostly, difficult. Perhaps what I cannot say with spoken words will flow by letting my fingers fly freely across this keyboard. My heart has experienced a lifetime of Your Love and now begs expression.
I say my little prayers to You daily, most often in the morning and afternoon. On rare days, even unceasingly. Quick hellos and acknowledgments, mostly. Yet when I settle in to have a REAL conversation with you and speak about my love for You, I feel downright awkward. My verbalizations often seem self-conscious, scattered, and stilted. Finding it difficult to concentrate and focus, I am back to being that shy, inarticulate adolescent in love, struggling to spit out the words that would have expressed my heart-thoughts.
Speaking my love for You in prayer is a challenge. I realize that the times we get together are not the most conducive: upon rising, when groggy or before sleeping, when drowsy. During those times, my thoughts and endearments are blurted erratically, randomly, and haphazardly. Or I babble, only to fall asleep, mid-prayer.
I wish to communicate with you when my faculties are at their sharpest. When awake and clear, I can carefully weigh and clarify what I wish to say to you. I may then have a chance to mine the depths of my soul, then polish my thoughts before I hit the "SAVE" key.
You bestowed upon me the love of writing, a gift that I have come to treasure. For me, the very act of writing releases hidden geysers of emotions, otherwise unarticulated. Writing allows my inner thoughts to pour forth and find expression.
Writing to you, in the light of day, now seems such an obvious solution. Yet, it never occurred to me to reciprocate your Love by simply emulating you. Written under pseudonyms, The Good Book, the ultimate collection of love letters, was written, after all, by You, the Invisible Author and the Master Writer.
I hope you will accept my small gifts, my humble letters to you. I will write with my whole heart without pretense, censure, or posturing. It's been said that true love expresses all emotions, and I, no doubt, will express them all: joy, sadness, delight, anguish, certainty, doubt, pleasure, pain, and even anger. Most of all, it is my hope that my heart will express its true love for You.
For most of my life, I have read, pondered and assimilated Your Words. Older and more experienced in life, I find myself perceiving and feeling the depth of your emotions of Your Words, especially the beautiful words of The Psalms. They touch me and speak to me. You have thoroughly wooed me. With the passing years, my heart is filled with overflowing gratitude for Your Gifts, and I fall more and more in love with You with each day.
John Donne said, "Letters mingle souls." I thank You for your love letters. I thank you for mingling Your Soul with mine. I thank You for creating me in Your Image.
Onto this computer screen, may my heart find love's expression and my stoic soul melt, giving way to a litany of love for You. Look at me, I'm writing to You. God. Imagine that!
I pray in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
SENT with love,